Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Comments are welcome here.

I just checked my Google Adsense account and see that you guys are actually reading my blog!!  I'm blushing over here...along with sweating.  It's hot in my bonus room!  This thermostat hasn't worked right since we moved in.  I need an exercise bike up here! 

As usual, every other living organism - including the fish, is asleep right now.  I'm awake.  I climbed in bed and gave it the good scout's try, but then Hal started snoring and I got a text, figured out Jordan Knight was on George Lopez tonight and then all efforts to sleep were off.  Just finished watching that and his online interview with Jordan right after the show.  He's very cute but he was never my favorite.  His new album is quite good though and even you NKOTB haters should give it a listen if you like pop dance music.  It's sexy and fun.

I've been thinking of making some changes lately.  I've mysteriously started to study for the LSAT - that's the Law School Admissions Test.  I honestly cannot tell you why I'm doing this.  I guess it's sort of fun (shut up Jennifer Aaron, I know you think I'm nerdy)!  The test is based mostly on analytical and logical thinking - and those things are mostly what I'm good at especially in the PAC job that I have.  I'd imagine that if the 11 of us sat for that test our scores would be very high collectively.  And if there was a way to test how quickly we can walk into an unknown emotional situation in a room and size it up successfully we'd all be winners.  That's why I love my job (most days) - because you never know what's coming through the door.  So I don't know if I actually want to be an attorney or not.  If I did I'd probably want to do higher education law or healthcare risk management or maybe even social justice stuff.  I think I might take the test in December.  That gives me a few months to study.  And even if I suck at it or don't go to law school, studying this stuff might help me stave off alzheimer's disease!

Then there's the birthday that I've got coming up.  I'll be 37 soon and I think I should have accomplished something by now.  For 24 years, I've wanted to WRITE A BOOK.  So far I've scratched out an unpublishable manuscript - unpublishable because it's too honest, too revealing, too fraught with controversy.  At least my trusty advisers have told me so.  Some people are lauded for sharing their darkest secrets.  For being brave and bravely writing.  But oh well.

So I need to write more but I don't know what the story should be.  Being a published author would thrill me, but the last few years have been tough economically and it's hard to work full time and write.  Now that the man of the house is working full time again it's easier, but still there's lots of bills to pay down before I'd have the money to hire an editor or an agent.  And then there's the lingering doubt that plagues us all - "am I good enough to write a book that anyone would want to actually read?"

Only time will tell.

1 comment:

Brandy said...

I think your current manuscript is really publishable (?) because it is honest. But I do think it needs to be reorganized. I'm not sure that putting it in chronological order would be right but I know that the copy that I read seemed kind of chaotic to read. The story was great, gripping, and really emotional. I liked it. For me I think it was harder to read just because I know you and it hurt to know all the pain you were going through that I had no idea.