Friday, August 26, 2011

Dear Virus, please expire.

Last Wednesday night I spiked a fever, then got the sweats, then threw up, then got the squirts.  It was hell, and I felt just awful.  So now it's more than a week later and I have to come home early from work because I'm running a fever again.  In fact, I've pretty much had a fever almost every day since last Wednesday.  I think there should be an automatic "you've suffered enough" expiration date on all illnesses.  I've also decided that besides the death of a loved one and perhaps a nasty break-up with the love of your life that vomiting is one of the worst human experiences.  I could live a thousand more lifetimes and not ever need to do it again.  Every time I throw up another food item gets scratched off my eat list.  This time it was Zaxby's chicken (that I'd pulled out of the fridge, leftover).  Once before it was spaghetti - I still remember puking so forcefully that whole noodles came out my nose.  Red Lobster was crossed off the list when I was 21.  What will it be next?  However, I must say that this virus - this god awful bug - prompted me to eat something I probably haven't eaten in 20 years...Campbell's chicken noodle soup.  I have no idea why except that I lost more than 5 pounds in one day and was starving so bad that my stomach was about to digest itself...and I was at work and desperate.  I kept it down.  Healthy and cheap my dad would say...if I gave him the satisfaction of telling him!  :)

Monday, August 15, 2011


You all died so suddenly,
even when we knew it might come.
I see people die now.
I know that pain in the eyes of the ones they leave behind.

I've felt it eight times before,
and it's awful.
A great big elephant sitting right on my heart,
and he won't move to save my life, my mind.

During the days when I think of you I ask you to visit me.
I tell you that I love you, that I miss you.
That I'd love to just sit and talk.
I wish I'd come to see you more when you were here, like you asked me to.
I say this out loud.

But in the night, in those wee hours and my half conscious slumber,
this is when you come.
Your face shines through and I recognize you.
Rocking in the chair, standing in the corner, sitting on the couch.

There you are!
Sometimes you only smile.
Sometimes you tell me something I might need to know.
I say I love you.
You say I know.

Love lives on, and does not die.
The body, yes.  But only.
My soul and your soul, connected forever.
You have work to do now, and I've gotta finish this life.
But please, come see me anytime you can.
I love you.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Read The Borrower.

I just stayed up 3 hours extra to finish reading this book.  You've got to get your hands on a copy and read it.  Really great story - and yes, it's actually fiction.  On rare occasions I will pick up a promising fiction book - I bought this one a few weeks ago at Borders and just recently had the time to read it.  It's about a librarian and a little boy.  Read it as soon as you can. 

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I'm just smurfed.

Ah.  Time alone.  Quiet time.  And I can think of nothing to do.  I'm so tired I don't even want to read.  I did read my daily and was moved to tears reading the bios of the soldiers killed in the chopper crash.  So sad that we are still fighting a stupid war, and spending billions upon billions to do it.  I support our troops and the sacrifices they are making but don't like the war and the fact that our guys and girls are dying over there.  I'm really not one to discuss politics often though, because opinions obviously vary widely.  I'm just one person.

Jennifer and I took the kiddo to see The Smurfs movie last Friday and now we've become obsessed with collecting those little smurf happy meal toys.  Generally speaking I don't like happy meal toys because of their environmental effect, but these guys are just plain cute.  And they make me remember playing as a child with my friends and my own little smurf figurines.  Those are selling mad now on Ebay too.  It's quite funny.  Kind of like NKOTB, those toys take me back.  I also bought Sarah 2 of the old Smurf cartoons for her iPod touch and she loves them.  She can now talk just like Gargamel.  It's really funny.  She's always been quite the dramatic actress, so I've signed her up for an acting class this fall.  Even though it's gonna cost me $60 a month, I can't wait for her to have an outlet for all of her natural born creativity, and I can't wait to see what she does on stage!  Hal and I were avid movie-goers before she came along - for 8 years we saw lots of movies!  She's now into movies too and I think she'll beat the socks off her friends in a few years when somebody breaks out a movie trivia game.  We shall see. 

What to do now?  I've got this Smurfy game on my iPhone I might play for a while.  It's rather mindless and I love watching those little Smurfs grow crops.  Speaks to the granola mom, tree hugging, hybrid driving, smurf lover in me.  :)