Monday, March 29, 2010

Life in slow motion.

I'm rather sick of being sick. I've had four straight days off and all I've done is lay around, sleep, and whine - well I did make one trip to the bookstore...since reading books doesn't require much physical exertion. I picked up two hopefully good books: Bluebird and The Story of Stuff. And I bought the latest Oprah magazine. Should be enough reading material. Thinking about renting another movie via iTunes - so simple. I don't have to go to the video store, and I won't lose the video or forget to take it back because it spontaneously deconstructs all by itself! We watched The Blindside, and even my 5 year old liked it! She didn't quite understand why "it went away" after the 24 hour time period expired. How do you explain the whole idea of something deleting itself to a 5 year old? It went like this:

S: Mommy, I wanna watch the Big Mike movie again.
Me: It's gone honey.
S: Mommy! Just let me show you! (grabs at my iPhone)
Me: (handing it to her) Sweetie the movie isn't on there anymore.
S: Where is it?
Me: It disappeared.
S: Why?
Me: (looking at the ceiling trying to figure out an answer) Because it just did. We finished watching it so it's gone.
S: Mommy, I didn't finish it! (her little cheeks are red from frustration)
Me: Um, well. Sorry.
S: Mommy can we get it again? On your phone?
Me: I really don't want to buy it, that's why I rented it.
S: What's rented?

You see that? I think this flu is affecting my brain. Now it's going to affect her brain because I can't answer all of her one thousand questions in a day. I distinctly remember my ex-step-mother making me write the word "why?" a hundred times one day when I was 6 because I absolutely would not stop asking, Why? Good to know my daughter fell off the same wagon - but how oh so annoying. Raising Sarah has proven to be one of the most fun, terrifying, tiring, expensive, sweet, memorable, wonderful, fattening, prideful, and worrisome things I've ever done. I love that child, but some days I just don't know what to do with her. I say this on the eve of her Spring Break week. Must think of something fun and tiring for her to do tomorrow. Must drag myself out of this house.

In a conversation with psychic Carla Baron when I was trying to decide whether or not to return to Georgia last year, she perfectly described my job in the ER. You'll have to think fast on your feet, it's really stressful, you won't get much sleep she professed. Perhaps she was talking about my life as a mother? :)
Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness

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