Bah humbug!

No matter what I do, I just can't seem to get the Christmas spirit this year. I'm not spirited at all actually - I'm better described as a mediocre ho hum. I went to look at Christmas trees but walked away empty handed. Now I don't even care if we have one or not. They were either too tall, too short, too fat, or too skinny - too sparse or too thick. They came with lights, without lights, with pinecones and berries and just plain old pine. The Santa that I saw in the mall the other day even made my nose turn up. We were walking by and Sarah is going nuts shouting, "looook Mommee, it's SANNA CLAWS!" He barely waved at us. If Santa only gets excited when folks throw money at him, than he can stuff his bowl full of jelly belly right up his...chimney. You know what I mean.
And then there's the gift giving. This year I actually had a slight increase in my budget for the holidays, but I could care less. The only thing I want to shop for is New Kids on the Block memorabilia off Ebay. Something about it soothes me. Nevertheless, I tromped around Target for two hours one night and watched Sarah prance around the toy section playing with things to get a better idea of what old Santa could bring her after he finishes with all the mall photo shoots he's got going. All my other relatives might be S.O.L this year simply because I don't care if they get a present or not! It's bad. I can't say this has ever happened to me. Shall I call it Christmas Apathy? It's like after we moved up to Maryland where we actually have a snowball's chance in hell (pun definitely intended) of having an actual white Christmas (or at least something white on the ground in the same vicinity as Christmas) I seem to have been stricken with a crappy attitude about the whole thing!
If it weren't for the 4 year old living with me, I'd probably just try to ignore Christmas until Janurary when I'd probably become depressed all over again that it was gone and I didn't do anything to celebrate. But since I have this child, I'm trying to figure out how to get into the swing of things. I purchased the New Kids Christmas album from years past and that worked for a few days. We played it over and over. We bought a copy of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and that had a never before felt effect on me. I actually could see where the old Grinch was coming from. To hell with their Who-ville celebrations! To hell with all their presents and their roast beast! But in the end his heart grew the two sizes and the rest is history. The Grinch came on board with the Christmas thing because something was so moving it actually made him stop and think. That's what I need. One of those stop and think moments. Like maybe Grandma would almost get run over by the reindeer and it would be a harrowing experience until some sort of Christmas angel would swoop down out of the clouds, shimmering in the moonlight, and rescue Grandma from the road. Something like that. Eh. Forget it. I think I'm a lost cause this year. I'll just blame it on the economy...