When I was a kid, I didn't really get to be a kid. I had to work starting at age 13, and as I've said before, we only got 4 channels on our television. I grew up without a mother, and I was largely responsible for my little brother, that is, until I got kicked out of the house at 16. Now it wasn't all bad, but I did miss out on a lot of things other kids got to do. For instance, like going to a New Kids on the Block concert, which I will do for the first time in October.
Something in me snapped a few weeks ago. Somewhere deep down in my brain just clicked on. Something rose to the surface. It said, I'm tired of working all the time. I'm tired of concentrating. I'm tired of figuring out how to be a responsible adult, a good mother, a good wife, a good daughter, a good friend, a good PAC, a good barista, a good author. I wanna watch movies, listen to music, have fun, be a kid again.
It just so happens that I have a kid now, and therefore have good cover. I can go into a store and buy Cinderella with my 3 year old attached and no one will think otherwise. I can live vicariously through her. I had never even watched Cinderella! Or Snow White, or most of the other Disney movies. I downloaded Enchanted for my iPhone and laughed out loud watching it late one night in bed. I took the family to Disney World and loved every minute of it. I bought We Are the World and the first episode of Wonder Woman on iTunes! I went to the theatre and saw Wall-E. Fun is my mission when I'm not at work.
I am relishing this time. I've never allowed myself such a good time. Maybe it's a virus I caught in the ER....
You should do it. Just mentally kick your heels back and enjoy the ride of life. It can really be a lot of fun if you let it.