Mean-ness revisited

Building on my last post, I must have done something awfully bad or be possesed by something awfully bad, because there's an awful lot of mean-ness coming out of me. The night before last I came home with a headache, the next night I woke up with a terrible scratchy throat, and the day after, yesterday, I had a four degree fever, the shakes, and I could hardly move I was in so much pain. As I type I can barely swallow. I was convinced last night that I must have the flu, but when the doctor looked at me this morning, he diagnosed my ailments as strep throat. He was very nice, especially when he found out I was one of the gang, as I work in the ER at the hospital. He was also very sympathetic. Little did he know I was simply so full of mean-ness I could barely move. My grandmother would have cooked up some sort of home remedy for this. When I was growing up with her I was never sick. And on the rare occassion that I actually did get sick, she'd usually have something to make me better, and it never involved going to a doctor. Since we were so poor, we couldn't afford to go "runnin' to the doctor" everytime we felt bad. I remember her giving me "onion tea" for stomach ailments, and her pouring hot oil in my ear when I had an earache. I also remember, with great disdain, her pinching my nose tight until I opened my mouth and gasped for air and as soon as I had taken a breath, she'd poke a spoonful of castor oil in and I'd just about throw up. Then she'd give me a piece of lemon or something that tasted worse than the castor oil so I wouldn't gag anymore. She and my father both felt that castor oil could cure just about anything in the human body. What it did was give you the runs so bad that no virus or bacteria could hang on and survive the flushing out. Muscular aches and pains got something called "salve" that came in a big red tin from the Watkins company, or you got "pain oil" that also came from the Watkins company. If you had a scratch or a skinned knee, you got alcohol or peroxide.
Most of all though, if you were sick or down in any way whatsoever, after the teasing about mean-ness and all of that, she made sure that you were taken care of to the best of her ability. Her dry wit and unwavering love is what I miss today. But since I'm all doped up on Loritab, Prednisone, and Amoxicillin, I think I'll be alright.